G is for Growth

29 07 2006

As we journey along the road of our creative quest searching for our personal grails, we find that the journey involves a deeper introspection that we expected, and often the results are more than we expected as well. Yes, we do the writing exercises and find out some interesting little tidbits on how our inner worlds function. Many times this leads to joyful breakthroughs in our understanding of ourselves. They are those “Aha!” moments that fill our hearts to overflowing.

However, if you have been on this road long enough, you will discover that these introspective moments also can be very bumpy. In fact, some are more than bumps; they are potholes so deep you can break an axel and slow down your journey. Through these potholes we discover our dysfunctions and those of our relationships. We uncover deeply buried grief and guilt that bind us up. We discover our own flaws that need repair.

These introspective moments cause us to adjust to how we proceed down the creative road. We try new projects, pushing the envelope at times. These outward endeavors may shake up the status quo of our relationships. Some people rejoice in the changes they see in us. Others will not. It disrupts the equilibrium of their worlds when we change. Even those on the same creative journey may balk at the new directions we go.

All this is said, not to discourage the pilgrim on the path, but to be an admonishment to pull ourselves out of the painful potholes, to learn that it is normal to groan as we grow, to enjoy those moments of exhilaration, and, finally, if necessary, to sit along the side of the road and rest a spell.

Lori Gloyd © July 29, 2006





Beaded Goddess Doll

29 07 2006

Beaded Goddess Doll

Here is my doll that I am making to accompany me on my journey to Baba Yaga’s. I am making her from a piece of cotton that I hand dyed and painted, and then beaded. When she is finished she will have a beaded picot edging and a fringe hanging from her ‘feet’, along with hand spun and dyed yarn draped over her arms and in her hair. Maybe she will find a branch to swing out of……..

P.S. The reason I am uploading her image now before she is finished is simply cos I don’t own a digital camera, and she can’t be scanned when she is stuffed.





Star Shower

29 07 2006

My stallion knew exactly where to take me. His name, Lit des Coeurs (reads hearts), is quite fitting. After mounting me and knowing I was secure in the saddle, he took off like the wind. He certainly knew where he was going, but I didn’t have a clue. I just held on tight and let Lit des Coeurs take me to the place he felt I needed to go.

After my eyes had adjusted to the darkness and several minutes of riding, my senses started picking up clues regarding our destination. Even before we reached the forest, my nose told me that I’d see pine trees soon. Once in the forest and my nostrils filled with the glorious scent of pine and wood, I turned to my ears for a clue. I thought I heard the sound of lapping water, but wasn’t sure. It was being muffled by the sound of horse hooves pounding the forest floor. I had to catch my breath when this wonderous sight came into view.

Photo by NoTraces @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/notraces/with/4370983/ Permission granted to post with attribution.

Photo provided by NoTrace @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/notraces/4259383/

My lungs opened up and took in a gulp of fresh, ocean air. Ocean air is different. It feels like a completely new substance to my body. It erases all tension, stress, worries, fears…it lifts me up making me feel lighter both physically and emotionally.

When Lit des Coeurs came to a pause, I lept off his back, took off my shoes, and dug my toes into the sand. Cool and wet, the sand felt good between my toes and I felt grounded for the first time in a very long time.

After a few more gulps of cool, ocean air, I made my way to the rock wall and had a seat. Lit des Coeurs must have known that I love Thoughtful Spots such as this and left me there lost in wonder while he found a bit of leaves and grass to munch on.

Closing my eyes, the rest of my senses heightened. I felt the ocean breeze caress my cheek and the coolness of the rocks I was sitting on. I heard the waves lap the shore from a slight sound a few yards down the beach, to a soft splash just below my feet. I took in deep breaths of the clean, salty air.

I rested there for quite a while taking turns tuning into the star shower and then into the sounds and feel of being right there.

I had no idea the time when Lit des Coeur nudged me. While at once it felt like seconds later, I knew it had been hours by the way the color of sky had changed. Behind me, I could see the sun beginning to peek out from below the horizon. I knew I couldn’t protest, though I would have loved to stay much longer. I trusted Lit des Coeur’s judgement. Climbing on his back, I settled in for the spectacular sunrise view on my way back to Duwamish Bay.





The Library in my Room

29 07 2006

Well don’t know what l’Enchanteur left in your rooms, but when I arrived there was a whole shelf full of interesting titles, some being novels and others on spiritual themes. Anyway in case anyone would like to read some of these books, here are the titles.

–The Red Tent by Anita Diamant : this one resonates so well with the whole theme of the Heroine’s Journey that we are all following that I guess everyone should read it. Anita Marie, you come especially to mind when I remember the main heroine in this story cos she, just like you, survived a truely horrendous experience, and managed to transform it into the means of becoming a wonderfully strong, spirited and authentic soul.

–The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd: Just because it’s theme is spiritual growth, plus it has an interesting perspective on Mary the Mother of God and the Sacred Feminine. Loved it!

–The Mermaid’s Chair by Sue Monk Kidd : same reasons as above, but even better written than her first novel. Manages to capture the agony and the ecstacy of sweet yearning. Just reading her words makes me ache!

–The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd : this one is her autobiographical story of her spiritual journey and how she found the Divine Feminine. She recounts each step of her own personal journey.

–Soul Sisters by Pythia Peay : Yes this is where I got my blog name from. This is full of lots of pieces and stories of spiritual development and transformation. It is sub-titled The 5 Sacred Qualities of a Woman’s Soul.

–Art is a Spiritual Path by Pat B. Allen : the newest book, only found it on the shelf today, but already love it. Author writes about how our art (images and writing) can take us into the ‘place of all possibility’, where we will learn to become’vessels for new wisdom’, as ‘our long-held beliefs are loosened’. Yes, yes, yes!

–The Marry Your Muse workshop by Jan Phillips :series of 6 audio tapes full of truely inspirational stuff. Really loved this one!

–The Woman’s Book of Spirit by Sue Patton Thoelle : a book of meditations and visualizations all centered around the Sacred Feminine. Wonderful way to start the day, then follow up with a few yoga Warrior asanas. Talk about getting into the flow and hitting the zone….





Carousel Dirge

29 07 2006

Inspired By True Events and  Our Journey to: The Carousel  

All photos are from the Looff Carousel once located in Seattle, Wa

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When I was a kid my Aunt Sharon and I were down in Seattle by the Water Front when she told me about a fire that destroyed what was left of the Luna Amusement Park. 

During it’s day the Luna had rides and games and places to eat and listen to music and I guess the most well stocked bar on Elliot Bay. So really, in the strict form it was really about family fun. In the end I think people went from fun to some serious indulgence because the Park was shut down to (ahem) uphold, “ Family Values”.

I don’t remember my Aunt’s or Grandfather’s stories in detail but I was sure of one thing…something about the Luna made them afraid. I mean, when we told ghost stories their stories involved that Pier and that fire even the Park. But things have a way of working into our subconscious and they live their quietly until, well for me it was about two years ago I started to write my Duwamish Bay stories and one of the characters that turned up all by itself was a Carousel.  

Just before I wrote two of my Duwamish Bay stories I had a vivid nightmare that involved a Carousel catching on fire.

The creatures were turning around and around and I remember the music got higher the faster Carousel turned. After a few minutes the  music stopped sounding like music and all I could hear was screaming.

Then all of the Carousel Animals burst into flames.

The Animals  broke away from the carousel and dove into the black waters  below the pier and the things that couldn’t break away on their own shot off the platform like rockets.

In my dream I woke up on a beach and I was surrounded by all of these Carousel Animal like horses and tigers, mermaids, elephants, I think there were even mermaids and fish. I could smell the charred wood and my mouth was full of soot but the Carousel Animals looked brand new.

And then their eyes started to open.

Okay, I’ll admit it…I woke up screaming like a baby.

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Today, inspired by this excercise ( http://heroinesjourney.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/stop-to-ride-the-carousel/ ) I went to the Lord Of Search (Google) and discovered…or re-discovered something very interesting about a certain Carousel that once called Luna Park it’s home.

First of all my Carousel had a name…it was called the Looff Carousel and before she made her debut her new home in San Francisco was destroyed by the Great Earthquake of 1906 and the Park she was intended for burned to the ground.

The Looff was re-routed to Seattle where she avoided a fiery death (yet again) when the Luna burned down…well, it wasn’t spontaneous combustion it was arson.

Anyhow, some stories I’ve heard claim the Looff Carousel was the only thing left standing. I’ve also heard she had been taken apart and sold off before the Luna perished but the result is the same.

She escaped.

Here’s the best part…the chilling part, the part that Haunts me for no real reason.

The Looff Carousel is HOME she’s back in San Francisco. You can see her for yourself at: http://www.nca-usa.org/psp/YerbaBuena/

It’s been a hundred years but she did it…didn’t she? She made it home.

Alive.

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Journey to the Isle of Ancestors

29 07 2006

It was a warm night. The moon graciously shone it’s gentle light across the path that led to the harbour where the Ferry Women waited upon the barges lined up against the side of the wharf. The sound of the water lapping against the sides of the wall and boats was calming, adding to the dream-like qualities already present in the scene that was unfolding. Walking slowly past the group of women, and glancing questioningly at each face that peered out, I walked the boardwalk, until one Ferry Woman leant forward, reached out her arm and beckoned me to come on to her boat. Within minutes the silent journey had begun. The Ferry Woman steered her boat into the reflection of the moon across the water, following its path until we arrived at the Isle of Ancestors. Thanking her I turned in the direction her fingers pointed to. A grove of trees stretched ahead, at the end of which there was a garden with a pathway winding through it. Following the path, I soon came upon a circular area enclosed by the most beautiful, fragrant rose bushes that continued to bloom openly, even though the night had long since cast its darkness all around, calling the rest of their floral companions to sleep and rest. There was a strong and palpable sense of magic in the air, an aura enhanced by the rays of the moon which seemed to shine with a bright luminosity upon the circlet of roses. Though everything beyond this secret garden was shrouded in darkness, here the colours were as vivid as in daylight, with petals of yellow, deepest blood red, pinks light and dark, and of course white. The white and red rose bushes were placed side by side. But then, what other way would they be? My favourite fairy tale was always Snow White and Rose Red, and it has long been my dream to have a red rose bush and a white one growing outside my kitchen window. Standing in the centre of this enclosure, and breathing deeply in the scents, I turned and saw a light filled being standing ahead. Without being able to see the figure clearly, yet still I knew that it was a she, a her, a woman. She looked at me and smiled. Immediately I knew who it was. It was Nana, my maternal grandmother. Nana died when I was only 6 months old, so I have never known her in the usual sense that one knows somebody. Hence she has always been a shadowy figure in my past, someone whom I have never considered ever to have played any sort of a meaningful role in either my life or my sub-consciousness. As I moved nearer to her, I saw that she was standing directly in front of the red roses that she had loved when she walked this earth. She was holding something in her arms. It was a tiny, light-filled being, a baby. It was me. Then suddenly, without any premonition of what was about to happen, I fell to my knees and wept long shuddering sobs that seemed to emerge from the very centre and depths of my soul. And without uttering a single word, Nana conveyed the message to me that the path I was walking was a good path to be on. Then she disappeared. No words were spoken either by me or her. Yet she had answered the question that was uppermost in my mind, although I had not yet verbalized it, nor even thought it. Still I recognized it when it came. My gift to her was to tell my mother, her daughter, that she had come to me in a vision. My mother was not surprised in the least, which surprised me. Obviously there is much I have to learn about my female lineage. Methinks much wisdom awaits.





Take Me Back

29 07 2006

 

Take me back
oh mighty Pegasus
Take me back
I whisper
urgently

Take me back to the Freestone Creek
To the Arches
Where Archie and Edna
lived
When I was but a girl.

Take me back
Wise Pegasus
Let me honour those
Who nourished my
imagination
gave me wings
upon which to fly

Let me stand just
for a moment
alongside Archie
while he cuts
the meat
to feed those hungry
Kookaburras

Let me sit once more
in Edna’s
tiny sitting room
with my parents
laughing
as she pours the tea
and passes the
kisses and
the Ginger Beer

Take me Pegasus
Let me climb
The tiny staircase
to heaven
To the attic
and let me lie
on those old grey blankets
gazing at the
colourful pages
pasted on the walls.

I listen for their voices
For the caress
The loving smile
But all I have
Are memories
And some china dogs
tiny treasures
found long ago
on one
of Archie’s treasure hunts

Take me back
Just this once
So I can look into their
gentle eyes
and
tell them that I loved them
and their home
more than any place on earth.

 

 

 





Charlie the Clydesdale

29 07 2006

I would like to meet him once again

the gentle clyde who took my sister

safely to school

but stoutly refused to go forward

when I held the reins

Perhaps in the distant island he has learned

to go forward even I’m the driverthe horse and the tobaggan





Chocolate Cake Hold the Arsenic

29 07 2006

“Have another.” He leaned back and gratefully sipped his favourite beer. His contented piggy eyes looked me up and down. I cringed and took a full step back. Damn. The wooden chair groaned from all the weight put against the already straining frame. I had to think quickly.

“I was thinking of baking a cake.” That was the fastest and only thought that came to the fore. He looked disappointed, but too comfortable to object. “Yeah, alright” he mumbled. He ran his eyes up and down again, and again I cringed.as I walked past him to the stove he gave my butt a pat. Rotten luck the cast iron pan was out of reach. Bastard, still thinks he owns me. The worst of it was that he was in so many ways right. What could I do, fight him? Run away and hope for the best. That would mean giving up all that was familiar, I could never show up here again, not even to see my kids and I just could not do that.

He should have grabbed me hard enough to leave bruises, then I could hit him with the pan. As he once put it, I’d have to get it on the first strike or he would finish me off – if it was the last act on this earth. One day “I” would be willing to give up my life for the sake of taking him of the planet, but for the moment I still valued my life.

Chocolate cake, thank God, the old TV was in the kitchen. I was rattling around getting the ingredients together and passed him one more beer. He got up and left for the living room. An hour later I was having a slice of cake and he was sawing down the rain forest in the next room by the sound of it. Now if I had baked it with arsenic I would have no cake to eat.
aletta mes

darknessfalls





Ride with the Furies

29 07 2006

“Wanna buy a saddle?” Marty asked,openin’ the tack room door.
There she was, draped on’na sawhorse, big, rich, brown-tooled leather, inset with lot’sa silver.
“Naw, I don’t ride western.”
He shook his head, “Ya gotta’ try… She’d be perfect for your big ole Clydesdale.”
“How much?”
“$300, and you saddle up”
“Lem’me give it a go, and then decide.”

It was long dark by the time I rode out the barn, but there was plenty o’ moonlight. The saddle felt right comfortable, just needed to adjust my style a tad…this horse and me have gone a lotta of rounds together an’ it don’t take much to know each other’s mind. By the time we was half-way down the road I had her doin’ a nice rollin’ canter-I kid you not, you could balance a mug o’suds on her croup and never spill a drop. We was one harmonious body flying through the night. And, fly we did I swear on my Daddy’s grave.

There ain’t much ground in these parts I haven’t covered , but the scene slippin’ by was plain unfamiliar. The range seemed regular ‘nough, but those grazing beasts were straight out’ta a drinkin man’s delirium .Fer one thing they all seemed of the female persuasion, judgin’ from those dangles on their fronts. First I’m thinkin’ lamas judgin’ by their general shape, ’till one turned around and showed herself to be a kind’a female centaur.
Now I’m right known by most as a fair judge of women and horse flesh, and I can tell you these err… ‘gals’ had some of the finest lines of both.
So I is flyin’ along at a pretty fair clip, when four of them all of a sudden broke loose from the pack and come ridin head-on towards us. I reined in a little figuring I’d give them a polite acknowledgement, but they just came a-thunderin, seeming hell-bent on riding us right off the trail. Right at the last second they skidded their hindquarters to a grinding stop, raising such a cloud o’dust I dang near hacked my fool head off. When I come to my senses, there I was staring eyeball to eyeball with all four of them lined up facing me no more’en a foot away.

“Cowboy, we dunno where you come from”, announced the one appearin’ to be the leader, “but this here is woman’s space, and seems to us you got yourself two choices. One being to turn your sorry self around and ride back where you come from. The other being to take our neighborly semi-transformational tour, dependin’ if your up to it, and then skedaddle outta here.” Well this set me to thinkin… there’s one thing for sure I would have one hell of a story to tell back home if I took’em up on their invitation…
Seems they right read my mind as the tall one on the end spoke up again, “Sees as we might be spendin a little time together some introductions otta’ be made.” I started to open my mouth, but they all put up their hooves indicatin’ me to stay quiet. ‘Parently, talking ain’t appart of male privileges here abouts.

“This here”, pointing to the black horse-gal to her immediate left, “is ‘Plenty’, back there ya might have heard o’ her evil twin ‘Famine’.
and right next to her, this fine red horse-gal, we call ‘Peace’, she being the entire opposite of the sucker your people call ‘War’.”
“There on the end is ‘Life’, our pale-horse counterpart of your villain ‘Death’. That leaves me”, she gestured towards her white-horse self, ” ‘The Conquerer from Within’.”
Right about then the hairs on the back of my neck stood right up at attention…realizing I am about to be ambushed by the Four Horsewomen of the Hypocryphal. Now, for the most parts, I’m as brave as the next cowpoke, but my momma, she taught me well….
“You’ll always be out drawn son, when wimmin hold all a the cards.”
So I turned tail and rode faster than I could, not sparin the whip or lookin’ behind.

“Wanna buy the saddle?” Marty asked, still standing inside the tack room door.
“Naw, forgit it man…I doan ride western.”